Final

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Recap:
He grabs at my sides and tries to start tickling me. I start squirming and laughing and pushing him off of me. He knows I’m too ticklish for this. I try to reach down to his sides so I can tickle him too, but he’s too fast. He grabs my wrists and pins my arms above my head. And right as he does that, I feel the knot on my towel unfasten. I have no desire to tie it back up though. I guess he feels the loosening of the cloth below him; he looks down.

"Come here..." I urge. He looks back up, his hands still pinning mine down, and he leans in to kiss me...





“Imani, what is this…”

“What do you mean? It's my paper. The assignment was to combine reality and fantasy, and I did that.”

The semester is pretty much over; today is the last day. For my English - Creative Writing I course, we were assigned papers as our "Final". We were to write out stories (mini-novels), minimum 20 pages, combining pieces of our reality and our fantasies. It could be about anything we wanted it to be about. We were given specific times to come in and turn our stories in...of course he scheduled me last. Apparently he can’t even make it through my entire paper though. Too much reality for him, I think.




“This isn’t reality and fantasy, it’s reality and insanity.”

“Is it A-worthy? I’m guaranteed A’s in the rest of my classes and I’d rather not be pulled out of the university after my first semester. You know how my mother is. She’s still angry at me for losing my purity ring. I need to get back in her good graces.”

“You know I’m not going to let you take a B home to her. But this, you have to get rid of this. Shred it, burn it, I don’t care. It’s a ridiculous piece of work and I don't want it lying around anywhere."

“Are you afraid she’ll somehow find it?”

“She is my fiancée, Imani. Why would I want her stumbling across a story that involves her being tied up and shot to death by my niece! And for what? Because my crazed student doesn’t like our relationship. I can't even fathom how you came up with this madness!"

“Crazed student?”

He rubs his temples. “I didn’t mean that.”

“Do not try to make me out to be some sort of lunatic as if this were all in my head.”

“Imani…”

“I hear the passion in your voice every time you address me. You do not talk to her the way you talk to me. I’ve never even seen you look at her the way you look at me. And the way you touch me, the way you make love to me—“

“Stop it. Stop it. We agreed. We both agreed to end this. Why can’t you let it go? Writing this ridiculous story… I mean watching her get killed? Is that really what you fantasize about? That’s sick.”

“No, YOU agreed to end this. You didn’t care about what I wanted! And what’s sick is what you're doing. What's sick is that you and I both know how you feel about me, but you’re going to ruin this woman’s life because you’re scared to tell people about us."

“I’m not going to ruin her life.”

“You will if you marry her. You know you will. But I guess it is your life. I’m just some crazed student who is obsessed with you for no reason at all.” I grab my paper from his hands and stuff it into my bag. “I’ll see you around, Professor.”


If you think this is where I start crying, you are wrong. I’ve spent the past five months going in circles with him. I have shed so many tears already and had too many sleepless nights over him. That story, as crazy as it may have sounded to some of you, was my plea to him. I just want him to fully understand how strongly I feel about him...to understand that he should be with me, not her. Sure he suggested that we end things, but that was a week ago and you know what? He still has not stopped calling me to tell me about his day, or stopped sending me late night text messages telling me he misses me, or stopped writing me little notes and giving them to me as I’m walking out of class. And he asks why I can’t let go?



“Imani. Wait. Imani...baby, wait.”


See what I mean? I close my eyes and press my forehead against the door. I didn’t even make it out of his office. He wants me to let go of him but he cannot even let go of me. “What is it now?” I ask. I hear his steps getting closer. I take a deep breath.

“I’m sorry. I’m just trying to do the right thing, for you. You have a good reputation around here. It would be completely destroyed if our secret got out. And when it got back to your mother? I'd never see you again. Please try to understand. I never wanted to hurt you. I shouldn’t have let this get as far as it did. That was my fault for not having stronger willpower, for not being able to resist you...”

Sound familiar? He always gives me this same speech. I mentioned it in my story. It is no wonder I was able to capture his point of view so immaculately, right? I know him so well.

I turn around to face him. “How many times are you going to give me this break up speech? You realize that although your words are saying one thing, your actions are saying another. How can you question why I am still hanging onto you when you are still hanging onto me? You make me so angry sometimes!"

He reaches his hand out to touch my face. “You’re so sexy when you get upset. Why do you have to be so beautiful…”

“Why do you have to be so difficult?”

"You hate me now?" He strokes my cheek softly and stares into my eyes. I hate that he does this to me.

"I could never hate you..."


“Come here.” He lifts my chin up and plants a soft and sweet kiss on my lips.


Shoot, here we go again. I don’t even try to understand what he does to make me so weak anymore; I just accept it. He has so much control over me, and he knows he does…so he takes advantage of it all of the time. And I let him.


In no time, I'm against the wall with my legs wrapped around his waist, and he's penetrating my body. It’s like the first time every time we do this. I gave him my virginity over a month ago and my body is still adjusting to him. I don’t know if it’s the fact that I’ve never been with a man before or if it’s the fact that he’s just that big. But my body loves the pain he inflicts on me… oh, how it does. Every time he’s inside of me it feels like I’m in another world.

I wrap my arms around his back and begin sucking on his neck as his heavy breathing echoes in my ear, soft moans escaping his lips every time my nails dig deeper into his back.


“I love you…” I say to him as I bite his earlobe gently.


His thrusts pick up speed, becoming more rapid. I love it fast and so does he. I fall back against the wall so I can watch him, the faces he makes. His eyes lock with mine. He bites his lip and then hoists my body up so he can kiss me. He kisses me so passionately when we make love.

I can feel his body beginning to tense up. And thus in response, so does mine. It’s like our bodies feed off of each other. My eyes begin to roll to the back of my head as I feel my peak coming. Only the slightest sound comes from my mouth before his hand clasps over it to silence me. I try to keep my moaning as quiet as possible, but it’s hard when he feels so incredible. I feel him burry his face into my neck and bite down as his thrusts become erratic and his body starts exploding inside of mine...


And just like that, we’re done.


His hand falls weakly from my lips; he slowly pulls out of me and lets me down. I shake my hair out and grab my panties from the floor as he pulls his pants up. I glance at the clock, and it reads 1:34 pm.

“Aren’t you late for your date?”

He looks over at the clock and slaps his forehead. “S**t.”


I throw my bag over my shoulder. He told me when I walked in at 12:00 that he was scheduled for lunch with Danielle at 1:00. I don’t know why he would do that when he knows that every time we get together we get carried away…


“Later Professor.”

“Wait, let me call her. Don’t leave.”

“Why?”

“I just, think we have more talking to do.”


Translation? He wants to spend more time with me…


“I think we’ve talked enough for now. Like you said, she is your fiancée. Don’t blow her off for a crazed student like me. Besides, I have my last exam in an hour.” I grab the doorknob.


“Mani…”

“Yes.”

“Can I…keep that paper? I’d like to finish reading it.”

“Sure.” I grab the paper from my bag and hand it to him.

He sets it down on his desk and pulls me over to him. He wraps his arms around me and I wrap mine around him right back. “I love you too, you know…so much...”

I nod and kiss his cheek before pulling away from him. “I know. Your fiancée is the one who doesn’t.”


As I’m walking out of his office and down the hallway, a feeling of sadness takes over me. It’s the reality sinking in again. I was so consumed with that paper, day in and day out I would rush back to my dorm to type up another chapter. It almost became real for me. For a minute, I thought he and I were really together…that Danielle was out of the picture for good…and that we were going to live happily ever after traveling the world together. But life doesn’t work that way. That was a miseducation on my part, fooling you into thinking that it could. I suppose you too were consumed with my story, thinking that everything was going to be roses and dandelions for Michael and I.

No, not yet at least.

You should be relieved to know that no actual murders have taken place here, at least none that I’m aware of. Katie was a fictional character. Porsha and Derrick aren’t psychotic murderers. They’re a normal college couple, although the part about him being a philanderer was not exaggerated. And Lauren being one of his affairs was not made up either, nor was the part about her being Michael’s niece. Working on that project with her at the beginning of the semester was indeed how Michael and I began getting closer. Oh...and Shelly? Yea, she's really my awesome roommate. I adore her. We'll probably end up rooming together for the remainder of our time here at UH.

As far as where Michael and I are going to end up, I’m not really sure about that… especially if he continues living the lie that he’s living with that woman. But as long as he wants me and loves me…I’ll be there for him. It might sound like a pathetic existence to you, but I don’t mind it. Call me naive but that man is everything to me and I’ll wait forever for him. I know we’ll be together eventually.


Our story has yet to be finished…

Chapter 21 part 2

“Baby…” I bite my lip as my fingers trail over her pants.

“Hm?”

“I wanna give you your first birthday gift...”

“Now? Wh-what is it?”

I kiss the naval of her stomach. “Do you trust me with your body?”

She takes a deep breath. I can feel her body starting to tremble. “Yes.”

I take a moment to give her some reassurance. I can tell she's nervous. I give her a soft kiss and whisper to her that I won’t hurt her. It’s been a long time since I’ve been with a virgin…a long time…but I still remember how fragile they are. I don't think I can group Imani with the ones I've been with before though. They were experienced in other things and/or had been with other guys. She's completely pure, completely mine. And I want her to feel entirely relaxed and comfortable with me being in control of her body.

Her panties, black with red lining, cling to her soft brown skin. She’s so sexy. I can’t help but envision what it’s going to be like making love to this woman, her legs and arms wrapped around me as I’m thrusting inside of her body. Just thinking about being inside of her is driving me insane right now.

Damn. Another time, Michael. This is her time…

My fingertips glide over the smoothness of her thighs as I'm sliding her panties off; she tries to close her legs once I've tossed them aside. I gently pry them right back open. “Trust me,” I say to her softly. 

The first thing I do is use my thumb to check how wet she is. She lets out a moan and squirms a little. She’s wet, but she’ll definitely be wetter by the time I’m done with her. I begin kissing on her inner thigh, leaving hickeys as I make my way toward where I really want to be. Her sighs and moans are so sexy. My dick is throbbing in my pants right now. I spread her legs wider apart as I get closer to my destination. I can hear her heavy breathing from the anticipation.

The instant my tongue hits her flesh she loses it. Her hands fly onto my shoulders and her nails dig into my skin. I love driving her crazy. I could do this every night if she wants me to. I spend a few minutes whirling my tongue over her clitoris. Any man knows that in order to get a woman off, that’s the spot you need to be focusing on. Funny thing is while I’m doing that, she starts moving backward, away from me. I’ve never had a woman run away from pleasure before. I stop what I’m doing and look up at her.

She stumbles over her words. “N—no. Please don’t stop.”

I bite my lip with a smile on my face. She can't handle it, but she's trying to. I decide to give her a little break. I move my concentration back to her breasts for a few minutes. I use my tongue, switching back and forth between each one. After her nipples are fully erect again, I make my way back down and bury my face between her beautiful brown thighs. Her breathing is getting so heavy that it sounds like she’s about to have a panic attack. 

“You alright baby?” I ask, using my thumb to massage her clitoris. She’s not able to finish her sentence. Hell she can’t even get a word out, other than “Mm!” I’m wondering if I should try and open her up a little. I know it’s going to hurt, but I do want to start getting her ready for what we’ll be doing in the future…I’m praying that she’ll keep me around long enough for us to get there.

I replace my thumb with my mouth and begin sucking on her clitoris: I'm giving her pleasure for the pain she’s about to feel. I take my pointer finger and gently start to slide it into her slick opening. It’s tighter than I thought it would be. The fact that nothing has been inside of her in nineteen years is sexy as hell to me. I have been her first everything so far; I want to be her last everything too...

She starts squirming again as I’m working my finger inside of her. I’m trying to ease my finger in and out as slowly as possible but there’s no way this isn’t hurting her. I stop and pull my finger back out. I use my tongue as a pain reliever and trail it up and down as I caress the sides of her thighs. I’ll open her up another time...

It can’t be longer than another minute that goes by before I hear her gasping and moaning loudly. Her legs start shaking violently as I’m teasing her with my tongue. I put my energy onto her clitoris again, licking and sucking on it.

“Mm…mmmm…” Just when I think she’s getting ready to call out my name, she moans out: “Professor...” in a low, sexy growl that I did not expect to come from her mouth.

Oh God, that was sexy as hell. It's torture not being able to get off with her, but it's all about her today. I have to keep that in mind.

She mumbles something in that I don’t understand repeatedly as the shaking of her legs begins to calm down. She’s finished. Me on the other hand, I’m going to have to relieve myself multiple times tonight to get rid of this erection.

“Happy birthday baby,” I say as I give another kiss to my new favorite spot. I kiss my way back up her stomach, give a kiss to each of her nipples (still erect), and then move to the lobe of her ear. “I love you…”

Her brown eyes light up, but she doesn’t say anything. I honestly don’t think she can right now. I’m not sure if this was the right moment to tell her, but I hope I don’t end up regretting it. I don’t know how she got me feeling this way. It almost slipped out when we were on the phone the other day, and I tried to just ignore that…but I can’t. After tonight I don’t want to keep anything else from her.

At this point I don't know what Danielle is going to do, but I do know that I'm not trying to put Imani through anymore bullshit because she doesn't deserve it. On top of that, I'm not about to let Brandon or anyone else come in and take what's mine. So fuck it, bring on the drama I guess...

Chapter 16 Adult

I’m up at 6:32. Why am I up so early? It felt like I slept more than just a few hours. Michael’s arm is still wrapped around me, his hand resting on my stomach. I hear his soft breathing behind me. I can’t believe I’m really here, that this isn’t just one of my dreams. I exhale and smile to myself.

Suddenly his finger starts to circle around my belly button. Oh did I wake him? He’s not saying anything. His hand begins moving up my shirt. Oh no, I should have put my bra back on when I changed. I try not to squirm.  I love when he touches me, but every time he does my body goes crazy. I take a deep breath and close my eyes while his hand continues to move up. If he were awake, he definitely would have stopped himself by now.

I don’t know if I want him to, so part of me is glad he’s sleeping…

The warmth of his hand glides over my chest and my body tenses up. I’m trying not to make a sound, but it’s difficult. I’ve never been touched here before, or anywhere. His finger circles around my nipple before he cups my breast in his hand. He squeezes gently; this feels so good. His breathing gets heavier behind me. I wonder what he’s dreaming about? His hand starts moving again, trailing back down my stomach. It feels like my body is on fire. I bite my lip to keep myself quiet.

Abruptly his hand stops, right below my belly button. Oh no. No, no, no. He moves his hand from under my shirt and pulls away. Shoot, he woke up. “Michael?” I call softly. He doesn’t say anything. I turn around to face him. He has his eyes closed, like he’s sleeping. I know he’s not sleeping anymore. I frown and nudge him. “Don’t pretend you’re sleep.”

“I am…”

“You were; you’re not anymore.” I nuzzle my face into his chest. The scent of his cologne hasn’t left his shirt yet. “You didn’t have to stop…”

He waits a few seconds before he speaks. “I was sleep. I didn’t realize what I was doing.” He rolls onto his back and hides his face behind his hands. “You know I wouldn’t have done that if I was awake. I’m sorry.”

Ugh. He’s always apologizing for doing things that I want him to do. I’m so tired of it. “You must have been having some kind of dream…” I say.

“Hm?”

“When you were sleep.”

“Oh, mhm.”

“About someone?”

“Yes.”

“Who?”

“Who do you think, Imani?”

I want to believe he’s talking about me, but if he dreams about touching me why doesn’t he do it while he’s awake? I wish I wasn't so insecure about how he feels about me. Sometimes I'm not but I guess with what happened with Danielle yesterday, I'm skeptical.

“What happened in the dream, will you tell me?”

“No.”

“Why not?”

“Your mind would be tainted if I told you what goes on in mine.”

There he goes again. “What if I want it to be tainted?”

“I won’t be the one to do that.”

I huff and lie there for a minute. He’s already tainted my mind without knowing. I never had the kind of thoughts I have now before I met him. I wasn't supposed to have these thoughts until I was married. I’m not as innocent as he thinks I am. I’ll show him. I sit up and pull my shirt over my head. I toss it to the other side of the bed and sit there for a second. I can’t believe I’m doing this. No, no time to rethink it. I climb on top of him, my heart racing like it never has before.  

He moves his hands from over his eyes and covers them right back up. “Shit, what are you doing?”

“I’m a woman, not a girl. Do you get that?”

“Please…” I can see him looking through his fingers. “Put your shirt back on.”

“See? I’m sitting on top of you with my shirt off and you’re not even touching me. You’re hardly even looking at me. I don’t understand. Do you not find me sexually attractive?”

“What kind of question is that? I damn near mauled you ten minutes ago.”

“But you were sleep.”

"Imani...I'm begging you..."

I frown. "I just want to feel like you want me..."

He sits up, so we’re face to face. His eyes go down to my chest and then return to my eyes. "Fine. You want me to show you how much I want you?"

"Yes..."

"Come here." He brings me into a kiss; at first it feels like it does any other time we kiss, but then he starts to do this thing with his tongue that he’s never done before. I can hardly keep up with it. He grabs hold of my waist and pulls my body forward, right on top of the bulge in his pants. I have to catch my breath; the silk material of my shorts allows me to feel everything beneath me...wow.

The longer we kiss, the more I start to feel this heat between my legs...this aching heat that I don’t know what to do with. I’ve never felt it this powerful before. He pulls away and kisses his way down to my neck. It feels like he's french kissing my neck...it feels so good. His grip on my waist tightens, and he starts to move my hips back and forth. Oh my God. I throw my hands to the comforter of his bed and bite my lip as hard as I can...but it doesn't keep in the sounds escaping my throat. I can't describe how good this feels. I don’t know what to do with myself right now. 

Just when I think I can’t take anymore, he stops. He trails his lips back up, to my ear, and he tugs at my lobe with his teeth. “Is that what you want?”

I hang my head in defeat, breathing heavily. I can't even speak.

He laughs and kisses my forehead. He places his finger under my chin and forces me to look at him. He smiles and traces his thumb over my lips. “Listen to me: you don’t need to rush this, and I don’t want you to feel pressured to. Just because I'm not pushing to sleep with you doesn't mean that I don't want to, believe me. I respect you and your values...at least I'm trying to. Don't make it any harder for me..."

“Ok, sorry.”

He lifts me up and sets me down next to him. “Don't apologize. Just...put your shirt back on now, please,” he says with a deep sigh.

I smile and crawl over to get my shirt. I admit that my body is still tingling from what just happened. I have never felt that way in my life, but he was definitely right when he said I'm not ready. I didn’t know how to handle him being all over me the way he was. I wish I did know how to because it felt so good. I slip my shirt back on over my head.

“When do you need to be back at your dorm?”

“Um, I don’t. It’s just me there anyway. Can I stay with you for a little longer?”

“You can but I don’t have an eventful day planned. I was planning on going to the grocery store…”

“That’s fine. I don’t mind going with you.”

“Ok. I uh, need to go into the bathroom for five, ten minutes. After that you can shower or whatever else you need to do.”

“Ok.”

He grabs a bottle of lotion from his dresser and then walks into the bathroom. Weird. I wonder what the lotion is for…